My Ups And Downs Essay

1333 words - 5 pages

The dictionary defines self esteem as how much confidence one has in him or herself. First I totally agree with that. In my opinion I think I have a fair amount of self confidence, enough confidence in fact to be happy and joyful. The Bible, church people and being a runner have made a significant impact on my self esteem.

The Bible was one of the first books I started reading when I was young. It taught me how to react to certain situations and how to treat people. During a Christian holiday, I usually read the Bible about that day to learn what God wants us to do from that point on and what to improve upon in our lifestyles to become a better person. I remember on New Years 2014 at midnight, I read a passage in the Bible (Colossians 3:5-17) that told me that God wants us to forgive people who did wrong to you and move on from their mistakes. When I finish reading it, that somewhat lowered my self esteem. I felt like I had been a horrible person for hating people I did not like and never forgave them. Eventually I forgave them and my self esteem grew because doing what’s right always made me feel proud of myself. In my perspective, I viewed myself as God’s child again. I always feel that I’m not one of God’s children when I sin although I know it’s not true and having that feeling where I’m one of His children, it makes me feel proud and confident of myself. I.t was then I felt like I had become a better person by letting go of others past mistakes and I felt like God was very proud of me. In some cases, The Bible made me feel that God was there comforting me when I go through tough situations. For example, when I refused to go to one of my classes, I got yelled at. I cried but then I also knew God was with me through the trouble. When I’m in solitude after getting yelled at, I would sometimes talk to God about what I did wrong, how I sinned, how can I make it up and apologizing to Him for my sin. During these talks, they boost my self esteem because it made me feel delighted that someone is there for me although I had done something wrong. However sometimes it decreases my confidence because often I would think that I had abused His love if I keep repeating the same mistake and not changing my actions. That puts me in a gloomy and miserable position. Though I would always try to change my actions so I won’t abuse His love again. Even though I’m imperfect I’ll always try my best to not repeat the same mistake so I can make God pleased.

Another influence that had a huge impact on me was church people. Every Sunday I would go to church and have my class then wait for my mom to exit the sanctuary. Sometimes I would sit in the front and wait for her. I usually bounce on the couch or chair to pass time while my older sister listens to music. When the adults come out, sometimes one of my mom’s friend would say I have no manners since I bounce on the couch when speaking to people. That person really make me feel like I’m a tomboy which I do not like...

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